Rent 911
by GorgeousSmile
Summary: The boho's become cops for a reality show, will they serve and protect…or will they start even more problems? Complete.
1. Chapter 1

Rent 911!

It was a sunny afternoon, and everyone was gathered at the loft, just hanging out. Collins was reading the paper until he looked up and spoke.

"Hey, you guys want to be a cop for a week?"

"As in I have a gun and I'll arrest you kind of guy? Roger asked.

Collins nodded. "Yeah there is this thing in the paper, and it says become a cop for a week, and you will automatically be entered for a chance at eight thousand dollars."

"Do you have to have a clean record to enter?" Joanne asked as she walked behind the bigger man to read the fine print.

Collins shook his head. "No, it says anyone."

"Wow, they must be pretty desperate if they'll take just anyone." Mimi said.

Angel then skipped over to read the article. "Maybe they're trying to get more people involved in the community, which is a good idea; I think we should do it."

"I'm in," Roger said. "I used to want to be a cop…before I picked up a guitar and found out it was more fun."

"I'm in too!" Angel stated. "I think I could turn the uniform into something fun to wear."

"It says you need to enter with a partner." Joanne read. "But there are only seven of us…"

Benny then raised his hand. "You forgot about me, I divorced Alison remember? I came crawling back to you guys? I'm now broke and I moved back into the loft."

"Oh right…sorry." Joanne replied.

"Well does everyone want to do it?" Mark asked.

"No." Maureen answered as she stood up from the couch.

"Why not?" Mimi asked.

"Because, I'm not going to risk my life for other people just so they can get more people involved in the community. I'm even surprised you all want to do this. Remember my protest, they caused a riot and put people in jail, not to mention they ruined my show!" Maureen said while eyeing Benny. "I do protest that's my involvement in the community, so why should I risk getting shot at, when I can make a protest about how dumb cops are…and I'm sorry but I'm worth way more then eight thousand dollars… and…"

"It's for a reality show." Collins said cutting the diva off.

Maureen stopped and stared at everyone for a second. "You mean there will be camera's filming us?"

Collins nodded. "That's what is says."

Maureen smiled. "Okay I'm in!"

"But I thought you…" Mark began.

Maureen waved her hands. "Who cares what I said I'm gonna be on TV!"

"So everyone in?" Angel asked.

This time everyone agreed.

"I'll film our audition tapes." Mark said.

Mark set up his camera, and everyone filmed a small segment about themselves. After they were done they packaged up their stuff and sent it in the mail.

Two Weeks Later:

"Mail's here." Collins called out as he handed out everyone's.

"Everyone has mail?" Roger asked. "That's odd."

"It's the respond from that reality show." Mimi answered.

"Reality show?" Roger asked still confused.

Mimi nodded. "Yeah, you know the thing we sighed up for two weeks ago? We made an audition tape and everything?"

Mimi smiled as she watched the realization hit her boyfriends face. "Oh yeah."

Before anyone had a chance to read over their letter, Maureen sprang up off the couch.

"I'm in! They accepted me!"

"Congratulations sweetie." Angel smiled as she read over her letter. "ME TOO!"

"Getting accepted to something is almost better then sex." Maureen stated which caused everyone to stare. "I said almost!"

Everyone nodded and went back to their letters. Turned out they were all accepted, and shooting began tomorrow.

"This is so cool, I wonder if they'll let me film behind the scenes?" Mark asked.

"I still can't believe us, out of everyone are going to be cops for a week." Mimi said.

"Who cares, I'm going to be on TV!" Maureen said with triumph.

"Maybe I can find some clients during this." Joanne said with a little smirk.

Collins shook his head. "You lawyers, always looking for any excuse for a client."

Joanne shrugged. "I have to bring the money home somehow. I was also told if I get three more clients I get a promotion!"

Roger sat on the couch with wide eyes. "I can't believe it; I finally get to live my childhood dream."

Mimi sat down and wrapped her arms around him. "I thought your dream was to write that one great song?"

Roger shrugged. "I can have two dreams."

"I had a dream," Maureen began.

Benny nodded. "We know you jumped over the moon."

Maureen huffed. "Nobody asked you."

"Whatever, all I know is I'm excited to win that money." Benny stated.

"I'm thrilled; I wish it was tomorrow already!" Angel squealed.

"No day but today." Mimi reminded her.

Maureen glared a Benny. "Where's your sarcastic comment for her?"

"Relax honeybear," Joanne said as she pulled Maureen into a hug. "You're going to be on TV tomorrow."

Maureen smiled and giggled. "I'm with Angel; I wish it was tomorrow already!"

The rest of the evening they sat around the loft, talking about how much fun being on a reality show was going to be, and how excited they were. Before they knew it, it was one in the morning, so they all retreated to there respected places and got a good night sleep.

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**The idea came to me after watching Reno 911! and as i sat there and thought of the boho's becoming cops...i LMAO. So i thought i'd try it out...**

**I don't own anything!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The next day all the boho's got ready, and met down at the police station as instructed.

They all entered one by one to meet the sheriff.

"Hi, I'm Sheriff Kyle..." A tall blonde guy stated, but before he continued he paused and looked over the eight people in front of him.

He eyed Collins up and down with a confused look. "Um, sir..."

"Collins...Tom Collins." He said while shaking the other guys hand.

Sheriff Kyle pulled back and nodded uncertainly. "Um Collins can I ask why you are wearing short shorts?"

Roger then muffled a laugh as soon as he noticed what Collins was wearing. "Dude, why you wearing those?"

Collins shrugged. "They'll help me run faster."

Sheriff Kyle just rolled his eyes as he began to turn around, but before he could fully turn around he noticed Mimi, and Angels attire. "Did you turn your pants into skirts?"

Angel smiled and did a curtsy. "Yup, I made them! They are way more comfortable and fashionable then the pants you gave us."

Mimi twirled around. "And like Collins they'll help us run fast!"

"You can't just go cutting up the uniform we gave you." Sheriff Kyle argued.

"Relax, it will give the show more ratings." Maureen said.

Sheriff Kyle eyed Maureen, and his eyes widened at the sight. The diva was wearing tight pants, a tight shirt with the top buttons opened up, and the bottom half of the shirt was tide up to show her stomach. "Can you tell me how your outfit gives you advantages?"

Maureen smiled. "It makes me look hot...this way when I'm on TV someone will see me, and be like. Hey she is hot let's make her the star of our movie."

Sheriff Kyle shook his head. "No, you guys do not get the point of this. We are doing this to help people in the community...not to make you famous or boost ratings."

"Well we can't help the community if we aren't comfortable." Collins said.

"You know what, whatever...wear what you want." Sheriff Kyle said. "Okay, so this is how it works. You drive around and answer police calls and do your best to help you the community."

Roger raised his hand. "When do we get the gun?"

"After your training." He answered.

"When is that?" Roger asked.

"After next week." Sheriff Kyle answered annoyed.

Maureen then raised her hand. "When do they start filming?"

"Next week after your training."

"Okay, so before we start I'm going to go over some more stuff..."

"Can we start training now?" Roger asked.

Maureen nodded. "Yeah, I want to get it over with so I can be on TV."

Sheriff Kyle shook his head. "First we have too..."

"When do we find out who wins the money?" Benny asked.

"Are we allowed to offer the criminals lawyers?" Joanne added.

"And will they let me film behind the scene stuff?" Mark asked.

Sheriff Kyle sighed. "You know what, lets just start the training now!"

"Yeah!" Roger cheered.

A fast week went by, and all the boho's got trained to be a cop. It was a fast training program but since it was for a reality show the producers didn't really care what they knew.

"Okay so the job is pretty simple, just go out there and try and stop crime!" Sheriff Kyle said. "You all know your partners for today?"

"Yes! Joanne is my life partner!" Maureen said with pride.

"And Collins is mine!" Angel added.

Sheriff Kyle shook his head. "No. I mean the person you will be patrolling with."

"Oh yeah, Mimi is mine." Roger said.

"And I'm with Mark." Benny said unenthusiastically.

"I'm with Pookie." Maureen stated.

"Who?" Kyle asked.

"Um pookie." Maureen said again as if it was even a question.

Joanne looped Maureen's arm. "She means me."

"Pookie and Honeybear, fighting crime, protecting the streets of New York City...the only thing stopping them is Maureen's sex drive." Collins said in a voice over tone.

Sheriff Kyle put his hands in his head and huffed. "What did I get myself into?" He then looked up at the eight boho's and said. "Okay, you all know the rules...be safe and protect our City...and just pretend the camera's aren't even there."

"WOO! Lets do this!" Roger said with his gun in hand.

Before anyone left a gunshot was fired. Everyone looked around and their eyes landed on Mark.

Mark blushed. "Sorry, my finger slipped."

Benny rolled his eyes. "Just great! I'm going to die today aren't I?"

Maureen skipped past him. "At least you'll die on TV!"

"Lets go kick some criminal ass!" Mimi said as she followed the diva out the door.

Everyone else ran behind them, and soon the streets were being watched over by the eight boho's.

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**This chapter wasn't that great, but i swear next chapter is where the fun starts!**

**oh and ps. THANK YOU for all the reviews!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**Deputy Coffin and Deputy Cohen. (Benny and Mark)**

"Could you slow down a little Benny!" Mark asked as he clutched onto his seat. "Why did you get to drive anyway?"

"Because you can't even hold a gun with out it going off, no way in hell I'm going to let you drive me around." Benny answered as he got an idea.

Mark looked over to see a smile hit the other mans face. "Why are you smiling?"

Benny looked towards Mark. "We are in a cop car."

"So…" Mark said nervously.

Benny reached his hand out, and before Mark could say anything, the sirens were on and they were speeding down the road.

"Benny you're going to kill us!" Mark shouted as he grasped his camera.

Benny let out a laugh. "Stop being such a baby, you're on TV."

"Please stop!" Mark said.

"Alright!" Benny said as he slowed the car down.

Just as he slowed down some stranger flew past them, and shot them the finger.

"Oh no he didn't!" Benny said as he turned on the sirens once again, and began chasing the vehicle.

Mark looked towards the sky with tears in his eyes. "Oh god please let me live through this."

Once Benny pulled the guy over he opened his door to get out of the car, only stopping when he noticed Mark wasn't moving.

"You coming?" Benny asked.

Mark slowly shook his head. "You can get this guy, I'll get the next."

"But you're my partner what if he has a gun?" Benny asked.

Mark shrugged. "I'm sure you'll be fine on your own."

"Mark, come on, it's for a reality show." Benny said.

"I just can't!" Mark said. "I had an accident."

Benny stifled a laugh as he climbed back in the car. "What happened?"

Mark looked down. "I got a little scared."

"Did you?" Benny asked.

Mark slowly nodded.

Benny then began to laugh out loud. "Oh my god I can't believe you peed your pants!"

"Shut up!" Mark said.

"It doesn't matter, they got that on film!" Benny roared.

Mark blushed as he looked into the dashboard camera. "Great, just great! I knew I shouldn't have done this stupid show!"

Just then the guy Benny had pulled over, drove off and sped out of sight.

"Oh great, look what your wet pants did." Benny said.

"Shut up, and drive me back to the loft so I can get some dry clothes!" Mark said.

Benny began to laugh some more, as he started the car and headed down the road.

**Deputy Davis and Deputy Marquez. (Roger and Mimi)**

"I can't believe I'm a cop!" Roger said. "Lets go find someone to shoot!"

Mimi let out a giggle. "Just because you're a cop, doesn't mean you can go around and shoot everyone."

Roger nodded. "I can shoot who ever I want. I'm the authority, and if no one listens they'll have to answer to me and my gun."

Mimi just shook her head. "You wont have the guts to shoot anyone."

Roger snorted. "You just wait and see."

A half hour later:

"We have been driving for nearly an hour and haven't seen any crime…is this really New York City?" Mimi asked.

Roger sighed. "I know, I thought for sure we would get some action."

"Wait!" Mimi said as she pointed out the window. "Is that a crime?"

Roger squinted his eyes to see. "No," He sighed. "Just people dealing drugs."

Mimi sighed and fell back in her seat.

"How about that?" Roger asked.

Mimi followed his finger to see a little 12-year-old girl being dragged into a dark alley, by an old creepy man. "Nope, just a little girl and her father."

"What about that guy running out of that convince store with a bundle of cash?" Mimi asked.

"He's probably just in a hurry." Roger said as he watched the guy run down the sidewalk.

They drove around a little bit longer, until they finally seen a crime.

"Did that guy just litter?" Mimi asked.

Roger nodded. "He did!"

Mimi eyed Roger. "Lets get him!"

They both jumped out of the car, and ran to the scrawny man.

Mimi pulled out her badge and flashed it, while Roger pulled out his gun.

"Freeze police!" Roger shouted.

The guy looked around, and when he noticed they weren't talking to anyone else he put his hands up. "What did…I …um do?"

Mimi lowered her badge. "You no exactly what you did."

"No I'm sorry I don't" The guy answered.

Roger slowly walked to the trash that was thrown on the ground, while he held his gun directly in the guys face. "You threw that on the ground, that is legal."

"Illegal sweetie." Mimi corrected him.

Roger shrugged. "Meh same difference."

"I'm sorry I'll pick it up." He said as he bent over.

"DON"T MOVE!" Roger shouted.

The guy jumped back and threw his hands over his head. "Sorry!"

"No you'll do as I say, and when I say it." Roger said.

Mimi smiled. "Wow you're a good cop."

Roger smirked. "Okay, no bend over slowly and pick up the trash."

The guy did just that, and waited for more instructions.

"Walk over and place it in the trash can." Roger said.

The guy fretfully walked one step to the side, and placed his garbage in the garbage bin.

Roger lowered his gun and smiled. "Now was that so hard?"

The guy slowly shook his head.

Mimi nodded. "You can go, and just think about where your garbage should go the next time you're walking the streets."

"Yes…" He said as he ran in the opposite direction.

"Good work Mimi." Roger said as they both walked to the car.

"I like being a cop!" Mimi said as she climbed in the cop car.

**Deputy Tom…Collins and Deputy Schunard (Collins and Angel)**

"This is so much fun!" Angel chirped as she clapped her hands.

Collins shrugged. "I don't know, we haven't even had any action yet."

Angel smiled. "So it's still fun to be riding in a cop car."

"What's that?" Collins asked as he pointed out his window.

Angel took a glance. "Someone is waving us down, pull over!"

Collins pulled the car over, and the two got out.

A frantic woman ran over to the two with tears in her eyes.

"What seems to be the problem miss?" Collins asked in his best cop voice.

"Oh thank god you are here! There are these bums harassing me for money!" She cried.

"Bums?" Angel asked.

The women nodded. "Yeah come quick!"

Angel and Collins eyed each other as they followed the women. When they arrived they saw a guy strumming a guitar.

The guitar player looked up and smiled. "Money, from a gentle officer?"

Angel smiled as she reached in her pocket, pulling out a dollar bill she placed it in his case.

"Thank you." He said as he began playing some more.

The girl looked towards Angel repulsed. "Why are you supporting this?"

"This is his way of life sugar, he isn't doing anything wrong." Angel replied.

"Yes he is! He is polluting our streets with no good unsuccessful artist!" She yelled.

"That's it miss, you are coming down town." Collins said as he began hand cuffing her.

"What! Why what did I do?" She asked. "You should be arresting the filthy…bohemian!"

Collins put the hands cuffs on and dragged her to the cop car. "Get in."

"But I didn't do anything!" She yelled.

Collins looked towards Angel. "Shit what can we get her on?"

Angel shrugged. "Um, she had drugs on her!"

Collins smiled. "Good one! This will show her not to mess with us bohemians!"

They both climbed in the car, with the women yelling in the back seat.

"You are the worst cops ever!" The girl shouted.

"La Vie Boheme sugar." Angel said as she gave the women a smirk.

"You wont get away with this!" She shouted.

"She said LA VIE BOHEME!" Collins said in a firm tone.

The girl just huffed and threw herself against the seat.

**Deputy Jefferson and Deputy Johnson. (Joanne and Maureen)**

"This so cool!" Maureen said as she started pressing random buttons in the car.

"Maureen, be careful." Joanne warned her.

Maureen looked around. "So where do you think the camera is?"

Joanne shrugged. "I don't know, I always see them on the dashboard when I watch reality shows."

Maureen smiled towards the dashboard. "Hello America, I'm Maureen the next big thing. Sit back, get comfy and enjoy the show."

Joanne giggled as she watched her girlfriend talk to the camera.

"Ooo a radio!" Maureen said as she picked up the end to talk into it.

Joanne sighed. "Maureen leave the radio alone, its so we can hear police calls."

"Relax Joanne, I am the police!"

Maureen pressed the button and began talking into it. "Hello, deputy Maureen here."

"Hello, deputy Maureen, this is deputy Collins." The radio said.

Maureen squealed with delight. "This is so cool!"

"Joanne say something!" Maureen said while holding the talking end in Joanne's face.

"Not now, I'm driving." Joanne said as she pushed Maureen's hand out of the way.

"Fine, I'll have my own fun." Maureen said as she brought the mouthpiece back to her mouth. "This is the sexy diva, calling all other sexy humans to respond."

Joanne just shook her head, as her girlfriend played around.

"This is trucker man Joe, I'm big, hairy and sexy." The radio responded.

Maureen started giggled at the response, and went to answer. "Hello big Joe, what are you wearing?"

"Maureen." Joanne warned.

"Shh." Maureen said as she waited for an answer.

"Clothes, but I can pull over and take them off for you if you want."

Maureen and Joanne began to laugh.

"Say something else!" Joanne said now interested.

Maureen laughed. "Okay, um." Maureen took in a deep breath and changed her voice. "This is the police, and I would like anyone who is listening, to pull over, pull down their pants and bark like dog."

Joanne rolled her eyes. "Now that is just dumb. No one is going to do that."

"Is there anything else officer?" A guy answered seriously.

Maureen eyed Joanne with a smile. "Is it still dumb Joanne?"

Joanne stifled a laugh and kept her eyes on the road.

Maureen talked into the radio again, changing her voice to sound like an innocent little girl. "Hi, this is Candy, and I'm stuck on the side of the road, only wearing a string bikini and nothing else, and I think I need someone to rub lotion on me."

"Where you at?"

"I'm on my way!"

"I'll be there in five minutes!"

Maureen and Joanne laughed at all the responses.

"Okay lets take this seriously now." Joanne said.

Maureen sighed as she put the radio down. "Okay."

Five minutes later:

"This is big Joe, is sexy diva still out there?"

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**Thanks for all the reviews! and for reading! ;D**

**Next chapter i'll have them deal with more criminals! **


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Deputy Collins and Deputy Schunard (Collins and Angel)**

"Okay, we will answer it." Collins said into the radio.

"What's the crime?" Angel asked.

"I guess there is this big prostitute corner we have to clean up." Collins answered.

Angel scrunched up her face. "Are they dead?"

Collins shook his head. "No…why would they be dead."

"Well why else would they want us to clean it up?" Angel asked.

"It's illegal." Collins said.

"But it's there way of making money." Angel began. "If we go around and arrest people for doing their jobs, pretty soon the world will be jobless."

Collins smirked and leaned over to kiss Angel on the cheek. "Oh baby, always caring for others."

Angel blushed a little. "Its my job."

"There they are." Collins said as he pointed to a corner, with a bunch of poorly dressed women.

They both stepped out of the car and made their way over to the group.

"Hello ladies." Collins said in a sexy man voice.

Angel elbowed him. "Stop trying to show off."

Collins shrugged. "I'm just playing my part in this whole police show thing."

"Is there a problem officers?" A woman asked.

"Yes, you all know you are doing something illegal right?" Collins asked.

All the girls looked around. "Standing on a corner is illegal?"

"When you are selling your bodies while doing it…then yes." Collins said.

Angel leaned into the group. "Okay's here's what we're going to do. We are going to let you off with a warning, but if we catch you again, then you are coming with us."

Angel smiled satisfied with herself until she finally registered what everyone was wearing. "Hold up!"

Collins looked towards Angel confused. "What's wrong, does someone have a weapon?"

Angel shook her head and gave every girl standing there a dirty look. "This is a huge crime! I can't believe I almost let it slip away."

Collins nodded. "See I knew you would see it the police way."

"Every single one of you are coming down with me." Angel said.

"You think we can fit 7 people in the back?" Collins asked.

"Oh sweetie we will make it happen." Angel said.

"But I thought you said we were getting off with a warning?" A girl in the back asked.

"Oh no honey, this is to much of a crime to just give out a warning." Angel said.

"What did we do?"

"Fashion crime." Angel said. "I can't believe what you all are wearing! And you call yourselves prostitutes?"

"Yeah," Collins said until he finally realized what he was agreeing with. "Wait what?"

"I can't let them roam the streets dressed like that." Angel said. "Their skirts aren't short enough, they aren't showing enough cleavage, and don't even get me started on their make up! What would an aspiring prostitute say if she saw them dressed like that?"

"Okay…" Collins said unsurely. "Well at least we cleaned up the corner like we were asked."

"Come on you are all going to jail, and you're going to learn how to dress more like a prostitute!" Angel said as she helped them into the back of the vehicle.

**Deputy Jefferson and Deputy Johnson. (Joanne and Maureen)**

"So Joanne, we have handcuffs want to try them out tonight?" Maureen asked as she traced circles around the lawyer's hand.

"I would like to try them out on a criminal." Joanne answered.

Maureen smiled. "Like a threesome! I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff…well lets find someone and bring them home."

Joanne rolled her eyes. "No not like a threesome, like I want to find someone and arrest them."

"Then take me home, and make sweet kinky love to me?" Maureen asked with a hopeful smile.

"Maureen, we are driving around trying to look for crimes, and all you can think about is sex?"

"Well, I'm bored, this is boring. The radio was fun for like two seconds, and now all we are doing is driving around. Plus looking at you in that cop uniform, definitely doesn't help."

All of a sudden a car sped past them.

"Holy Elsie the cow! Lets get em!" Maureen shouted."

Joanne smiled and turned on the sirens. Maureen reached out and grabbed the radio thing, so she could speak to the driver.

"This is the police, pull over right now." Maureen said.

After a few minutes the guy pulled over, and Maureen and Joanne left their vehicle.

Joanne tapped on the window. "Hello sir, did you know you were speeding?"

The guy shrugged. "Was I? You know I didn't really noticed.

Maureen looked the car over. "This is a really nice care."

The guy smiled. "Thanks, you should see the inside, its even nicer then the outside."

Maureen smiled and leaned down so she was eye level with the driver. "I bet it is…"

"Maureen!" Joanne said.

Maureen stood up. "Right sorry."

"Can you step out of the car sir?" Joanne asked.

The guy nodded and did as he was told.

"Have you been drinking?" Joanne asked.

"Yeah…"

"You know it's illegal to drink and drive?" Joanne asked.

The guy shrugged. "No ma'am, I didn't know it was illegal to drink a diet coke, while driving."

"Oh he got you there." Maureen said in Joanne's ear.

"Are you trying to be funny?" Joanne asked. "Was that some kind of a joke?"

"No ma'am, you just asked if I had anything to drink so I answered."

"I don't like your attitude." Joanne said as she pulled out her handcuffs.

"You can arrest me for my attitude?" The guy asked.

Joanne shrugged as she handcuffed him. "Well, it seems like I can do whatever I want, I'm the police, isn't that right sir?"

"Yes, but I didn't know…" he began.

"You have the right to remain silent!" Joanne shouted.

Maureen glared at her girlfriend with an aroused smile. "Joanne, I never seen this side of you before…I like it!"

Joanne just smiled, and pushed the guy against the car. "You want to frisk him?"

"Do I!" Maureen said brightly.

Maureen leaned down, and slowly began patting him down.

"Miss, I know you're the police but can you watch your hands?" He said.

Maureen just smiled as she began feeling his leg muscles, and then she worked her way up to his sides, and arms. She was doing it in a non-police way, until Joanne stopped her.

"Okay, I think he's clean." Joanne said as she pulled the guy to the cop car.

Maureen looked the guy over. "Wow, is that a roll of quarters in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

The guy blushed as he climbed in the cop car. "I'm happy to see you…"

Maureen giggled as she jumped in the passenger seat, Joanne jumped behind the wheel, and they sped off towards the police station.

**Deputy Coffin and Deputy Cohen. (Benny and Mark)**

"Are you dry now?" Benny asked.

Mark huffed as he climbed back into the car. "Can we please not speak of this again?"

"Sorry." Benny said, as he began driving away from the loft.

Ten minutes of silence went by, until Benny finally spoke.

"So Mark?"

"Yes?"

"Remember when you peed your pants?" Benny asked with a laugh.

"Shut up!" Mark shouted.

"Sorry, I'm sorry." Benny said. "That was my last time, lets just look for some crime, and maybe you'll make it on time, when your bladder fills with lime…"

"BENNY!"

"Sorry, it was a rhyme… it just sort of slipped out."

"Look!" Mark said, while pointing out the window.

Benny looked out the window to see two girls fighting. "Looks like we found a crime."

Benny pulled the car over, and they both stepped out of the vehicle.

"What seems to be the problem?" Benny asked.

They two girls stopped fighting, and looked Mark and Benny up and down. "She stole my boyfriend!"

"I didn't steal him, he came looking for me!" Girl number two shouted.

"And got her pregnant!" Girl number one shouted.

"Whoa, you're fighting a pregnant chick, that is just low." Benny said.

"She deserves it!" Girl number one said as she dove at the other girl.

Mark however grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back. "Come on guys chill!"

"Maybe she does deserve it, but maybe you should wait until she has the baby to fight her." Benny said.

Girl number two was upset by this comment, so she balled her hand in a fist. "I'll show you who deserves it!" Before Benny could react, he saw a fist fly into his face, and he was down on the ground.

Mark couldn't help but laugh at the sight, and before they could arrest anyone, the two girls ran down the street.

"Benny, are you okay?" Mark asked, as he helped the hurt man up.

Benny pushed Mark off of him. "What a bitch."

"I can't believe you got hit by a girl!" Mark said with a smile. "It was on TV too!"

"Shut up." Benny said as he made his way back to the car. "At least I didn't pee my pants."

Mark frowned a little, but then a smirk reclaimed his face. "Whatever I'd rather pee my pants, then get hit by a girl on national TV."

Benny gave him a confused look. "Not me!"

Mark just sank in his chair, as Benny drove down the road.

"Hey Benny?"

"What?"

"Remember when you got hit by a girl?" Mark asked.

"Shut up Cohen!" Benny yelled.

**Deputy Davis and Deputy Marquez. (Roger and Mimi)**

"It's almost the end of they day, and all we did was yell at a litter bug!" Roger said disappointedly.

Mimi shrugged. "It's Monday, Moday's are always bad work days."

"I thought I could at least shoot someone." Roger said.

Mimi smiled. "You're still on that shooting thing?"

Roger nodded. "It's like my dream to shoot someone!"

Mimi laughed. "It's your dream to shoot someone?"

"Well, not just anyone, like a bad person." Roger said. "I'm not just going to shoot someone for the fun of it."

Mimi smiled. "You were the weird kid in school weren't you?"

Roger shrugged "I never really went to school…but I guess on the days I did go, that sentence could apply. Although I did hang out with Mark, so the weird thing mostly stuck with him."

Mimi nodded. "That seems accurate."

"Oh pull over! I see a crime." Mimi singsong.

Roger pulled over, and they both emerged from the car. "Where at?"

"Follow me!" Mimi said as she led them into a dark alley.

When they got there, there were about five people dealing money.

"Freeze this is the police!" Roger said.

All of a sudden bright lights shun on the two, and the five people dealing, where huge guys, that looked like body builders.

"What you guys doing?" Mimi asked with out a care in the world.

Roger kind of sank low. "Mimi, maybe we should just leave them alone."

"Why, this is a crime." Mimi said

"What seems to be the problem?" One guy asked.

"Uh nothing." Roger answered as he put his hand over his gun. "We thought you were someone else."

"Roger what are you doing?" Mimi asked. "They are clearly up to know good."

"What know good what that be?" Another guy asked.

Mimi turned around and walked over to them. "Can I see what's in the briefcase?"

"Oh shit Mimi, You are going to get yourself killed!" Roger said.

The guys happily let Mimi take a look, and when she saw it was just clothes she walked way. "Sorry about that boys, we will let you be."

"Thanks for understand officer."

Mimi winked. "Anytime." She then pulled Roger closer to her as they made their way out of the alley. "Thanks for having my back Deputy Davis."

"Did you see the size of those guys? They could have killed us with one hand!" Roger said.

Mimi hit him playfully. "Don't be such a puss, we're cops, they have to do what we say."

"Not everyone follows the law Mimi."

Just as they climbed back into the car, there were gunshots, and fighting going on in the alley they just came from. But Mimi and Roger where so into their conversation, they were unaware of it all.

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**I wasn't to fond of this chapter...but oh well! Thanks for reading it! **

**A little look of what you will see in chapter 5: A partner switch. Which will have, CollinsMaureen, AngelMimi, RogerMark, and BennyJoanne. **

**Well until next time:D **

**Thanks again for all the reviews! They m****otivate me so much!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Not the best chapter...but its something!**

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Chapter 5

**Deputy Coffin and Deputy Jefferson (Benny and Joanne) **

As Benny drove the car, he looked into the dashboard camera and began talking. "So it's day two of us being cops. We were all assigned different partners, and I am now partnered with Deputy Jefferson. To tell you the truth I wasn't too happy about being partnered with a girl, but Joanne is a hardcore lesbian so I feel pretty safe, and quite frankly I'm just happy I'm not with Mark anymore."

Joanne turned and glared at Benny. "Thanks for your sharing time. I'm happy to know me being a lesbian makes you feel safe."

Benny shrugged. "Hey I'm just speaking the truth."

"Anyways on a more police related topic." Joanne said into the camera. "We just got a radio call, about something happening in the park. So me and Benny are going to go check it out."

"It's Deputy Coffin." Benny corrected her.

Joanne looked out the window and mumbled. "You're going to be in a Coffin if you don't shut up."

"What was that?" Benny asked.

Joanne smirked. "Nothing, lets just put on the sirens and go."

"Really the sirens?" Benny asked surprised. "You're not going to pee your pants or anything?"

Joanne looked at him confused. "Pee my pants? Wait Mark peed his pants didn't he?"

Benny began laughing. "How did you guess?"

"Because it's Mark!" Joanne said.

They both sat there in silence for about two seconds, until they both burst out laughing and sped down the street. They arrived at the park, and both climbed out of the car.

"So what are we looking for?" Benny asked.

"An injured civilian." Joanne answered.

"Oh civilian, nice choice of words." Benny said astonishingly.

Joanne grinned. "I am a lawyer."

Benny chuckled silently until his eyes fell on an injured person. "Would this person happen to have an arrow stuck in his shoulder?"

Joanne followed Benny's eyes. "I don't know lets check it out."

They both walked up to two grown men, one lying on the ground with an arrow sticking out of his shoulder, and another guy leaning over him.

"Did you guys call for the police?" Benny asked.

The non-injured guy stood up. "Uh yes, my friend is hurt."

Benny and Joanne looked them up and down.

"Um sir can you tell me why you are dressed like a knight, and an elf?" Joanne asked. "I believe Halloween isn't for another four months."

"We are playing Dungeons and Dragons." The guy answered. "I had to shoot him, or else I would have died."

Benny stifled a laugh. "Dungeons and Dragons?"

The guy looked at him with a serious look. "Yeah he was about to attack me with his sword so I defended myself with my magic arrow."

"Magic arrow?" Joanne asked.

"Yes, magic arrow. No one, or nothing can escape the magic arrow." The guy answered.

"Well you know you can get charged for something like that right?" Joanne asked.

The guy froze and looked between Benny and Joanne.

"I was just defending myself." He finally answered.

"You were playing a game." Benny said.

"You don't understand!" The guy yelled.

"Calm down sir, I think right now you need to understand your friend is hurt because of you." Joanne said.

"You can't take me!" The guy yelled. "I'm the miraculous elf, nobody can take me!"

"Calm down sir, or this will get ugly." Benny warned.

"You can't get me!" The guy yelled as he began running away. "I'm wearing a coat of escaping!"

"Come back here!" Benny yelled.

"I'm wearing a coat of escaping!"

Benny and Joanne looked towards each other and rolled their eyes.

"Lets just get this guy to the hospital, we will find him later." Joanne said.

**Deputy Davis and Deputy Cohen. (Roger and Mark) **

"We got a call about some guy dealing drugs on his front lawn." Roger said into the camera. "So me and Cohen here are going to go take care of it."

Roger pulled up to a house where a guy was watering his garden.

"Sir." Roger called out.

The guy looked Mark and Roger over.

"Is there a problem officers?"

Mark nodded. "Yeah we heard you are selling illegal drugs."

"Mark I think its legal." Roger said.

Mark shook his head. "No it's illegal."

Roger shrugged. "Whatever."

"I am doing no such thing." The guy answered.

"Can we search your house please?" Mark asked

"Don't be nice." Roger said to Mark, and then looked back towards the guy. "We are searching your house!"

The guy turned to face them, with his hose spraying towards them. Mark and Roger froze in their tracks.

"Put down the hose sir!" Roger yelled.

"This hose?" The guy yelled as he sprayed the water a little closer to the two.

"Yes that hose!" Mark finally yelled.

"You don't want to get wet?" The guy asked.

"No, now put it down." Roger said.

The guy smiled, and then sprayed Roger and Mark a little.

"We said put down the hose!" Roger yelled as he took out his gun.

"You really going to shoot this guy over a hose?" Mark asked.

"I'm a police officer, I can do whatever I want." Roger said.

"Okay, okay I'll put the hose down." The guy said as he slowly placed the hose on the ground, he then slowly started reaching for something.

"Put your hands in the air sir!" Roger yelled.

The guy quickly grabbed his item, and held it up.

Mark was then quick to grab his gun, and point it at the man. "Put down the gnome sir!"

"You really going to shoot this guy for holding a gnome?" Roger asked.

Mark shrugged. "They freak me out."

Finally after a half hour, they tackled the guy down and found no signs of drugs.

"Damn! I really wanted to take him in." Roger said.

"Well he did have a weapon…two to be precise." Mark said.

"That is true." Roger said. "Good thinking Mark!"

So Roger and Mark handcuffed the guy and threw him in the back seat.

"You're going to arrest me for holding a hose and a gnome?" The guy asked.

Roger and Mark just ignored him as they drove to the police station.

**Deputy Schunard and Deputy Marquez. (Angel and Mimi) **

"This is kind of boring." Mimi said as they drove down the street.

Angel sighed. " Just a little."

They drove around for a bit longer until Angel got a bright idea.

"I know!" Angel said as she pulled the cop car over. "Lets get pedicures."

Mimi smiled. "Okay!"

They both jumped out of the car and headed for a beauty shop.

"Wait." Mimi said before they entered. "We don't have any money."

Angel stopped but then smiled. "We're cops they have to give it to us."

Mimi nodded. "That's true!"

Angel walked in and up to the counter.

"Two free pedicures please." Angel said.

The girl looked them over, and then smiled. "Anything for our cops."

As they both sat there getting their feet done, there was a robbery across the street. All the customers looked towards Angel and Mimi, waiting to see if they were going to do anything.

Mimi shrugged. "One of the other Deputies will catch him."

Angel nodded. "Yeah, and maybe the robber needed the money."

"Want to go shopping after this?" Mimi asked.

Angel nodded. "Yeah, I need a knew wig to go with this uniform."

Twenty minutes later, they both walked out of the shop and went shopping.

"Wait." Angel said as she noticed something wrong. "Isn't that a parking violation?"

Mimi studied the car, it was parked in two parking spaces, and the back end was sticking out. "Yes I think it is."

Angel smiled. "Lets right it a ticket!"

Mimi clapped. "Okay, I haven't fought a crime yet."

They both pulled out a pad of paper and began writing.

"What are the police terms for this?" Angel asked, as she held the pen to the paper.

Mimi shrugged. "Um…ass is sticking out, and your fast ass truck is taking up two parking spaces, next time leave room for other people, signed the police."

Angel nodded as she wrote down every word. "Sounds good!"

They stuck it on the car, and walked away.

Mimi and Angel slapped hands. "Another round of justice served!"

**Deputy Collins and Deputy Johnson (Collins and Maureen) **

"So you're telling me you would never do Aunt Jemima?" Maureen asked.

Collins stared straight ahead as he drove. "No, maybe if she was a guy, but even then I could never leave Angel."

"But it's Aunt Jemima!" Maureen shouted.

Collins chuckled. "What's with you and Aunt Jemima?"

Maureen shrugged. "She is hot, and I love pancakes and she just so happens to go perfectly with them. You know what I'd do, take her to my bed, poor syrup on her, and lick it off."

"MO! That is degusting!" Collins said. "You are on camera, if you are going to lick anything off of anyone, or even talking about it, then lick hot fudge off of her, not syrup, that is just nasty!"

"Whatever lets go get some donuts, all this talk about syrup made me hungry." Maureen said.

"I'm down with that." Collins said.

After a quick stop at the donut shop, they hid in a bush so they could catch speeders.

"Now we're real cops." Maureen said as she bit into a donut.

Collins laughed.

Just as they were biting into another donut, a car drove by.

Maureen rolled her eyes. "That was like the tenth non-speeding car, this is boring!"

Collins shrugged. "Want to get em anyways?"

Maureen smiled. "Hell yeah, turn on the sirens!"

As they chased the car down the road, Maureen picked up the radio. "Did you know you can talk into this, and the people outside the car can hear you?"

Collins nodded. "Cool, now we wont have to get out of the car."

Maureen smiled and talked into the radio. "Pull over!"

The guy in front of them kept driving.

"PULL OVER I SAID!" Maureen shouted.

Finally he pulled over, and stepped out of the car.

Collins took the radio out of her hand. "Step out of the car sir."

The guy slowly stepped out of the car. "What did I do?"

"Lets have fun with this." Maureen said as she took the radio back. "Put your hands in the air sir!"

"I'd like to know what I did." He said as he raised his hands.

"Now bend over, and put your hands on your butt." Maureen finished.

Collins chuckled as he took the radio back. "And moo like the silly little fool you are!"

The guy rolled his eyes, and did everything they told him.

Maureen and Collins laughed their Asses off as another car pasted them.

Maureen and Collins eyed each other.

"Our next victim!" Maureen shouted with joy.

Collins started up the car, and then sped down the street, leaving the guy mooing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for R&Ring**

**and I'm ****SO sorry for the update delay, i was going through major writers block. **

**Anyways heres an update.**

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Chapter 6

**All Eight of Them**

"So what do we do?" Collins quietly asked, while standing outside a grungy house, facing the other seven.

Roger pulled out his gun. "We take action."

Maureen then giggled. "You whip out that gun Davis!"

"Maureen we are doing a bust please try and act like a cop." Joanne begged.

Benny quietly snuck past everyone, and made his way to the front door. "Is everyone ready?"

"No." Mimi whispered in a loud sort of way. "Just what exactly are we busting these people for? I mean it must be something big if this needs all eight of us."

Mark nodded as he stepped forwards. "Chica over there is right, I want to know what I'm dealing with before I go inside. What if they are dealing with guns or something!"

"Who cares we're cops, we are trained to deal with shit like this." Roger explained.

"We'll be fine." Angel assured them. "I'm sure the Sheriff wouldn't put us up to it unless he didn't think we could do it."

"Yeah listen to Angel." Roger said.

"So we doing this?" Benny asked.

"Yes." Roger answered for them, as he got in cop mode and joined Benny at the front door.

"On my count we kick it open." Benny declared.

Roger nodded, but then shook his head. "Why not on my count?"

"I'm more cop then you." Benny answered.

"Uh I don't think so."

"So do you lady's want to stand out here and argue, or go in and bust a killer?" Maureen asked with her gun flaring about.

Roger and Benny cleared their throat then they both proceed to count.

"One…two…"

"THREE!" Maureen shouted as she ran towards the door, successfully kicking it open.

"MAUREEN!" Everyone shouted.

"That was my entrance!" Roger and Benny both whined.

"You idiots were taking to long." Maureen argued from inside the house.

Joanne shook her head as she ran in after her girlfriend. "That girl is going to get me killed one day!"

Collins began chuckling as he swung an arm around Angel and they both entered as if they owned the place.

Mimi ran to the front door quickly grabbing Roger's hand, leaving a poor defenseless Mark alone with his camera.

"Mark you coming?" Benny called out.

"Yeah…" Mark answered nervously.

Soon all eight were in the house searching for any bad news.

"You guys…I think I hear something from behind that door." Mark said pointing to a door to his right.

Everyone turned to face him.

"Well then check it out." Mimi said.

"Um… yah okay." Mark said.

The filmmaker slowly walked closer to the door, his heart pounding every second, as he got closer, finally he made it, and placed his hand on the doorknob.

"WAIT!" Roger shouted. "Draw your weapon."

"What?" Mark asked.

"Draw your weapon!"

"Draw? I don't have any paper." Mark said.

Maureen stifled a laugh. "And you all think I'm the blonde brunette."

"Pull out you gun boy!" Collins said.

"Oh." Mark nodded while taking it out with a shaky hand. He then proceeded to open the door carefully. "Oh wow."

Roger was quickly by his side. "What is it?"

Everyone watched as the two stood in the doorway gazing at what was before them. Soon everyone else was gazing with them.

"Is that a?" Mimi began.

"Hot tub full of money." Benny answered.

"Lets swim in it!" Maureen suggested.

"We can't its evidence." Roger said.

"Sorry Mr. Detective." Maureen teased.

"Do we call the sheriff?" Mark asked.

Angel nodded. "I think so."

"No one is going to be calling the Sheriff." A voice from behind them said.

"Says who?" Collins asked without taking his eyes off the money.

"Pookie?"

"Yes Honeybear."

"Why are you poking my back?"

Joanne who was standing three people down from her scrunched up her face. "I'm not…I'm not even standing next to you."

Maureen nodded with confusion. "Oh…okay."

"It's me." The voice answered.

Everyone turned their head to answer the voice all letting out gasps when they saw what was happening.

"I'm holding you hostage." The voice said as he roughly pulled Maureen away from the group.

"Oh shit!" Maureen whimpered. "Why me I'm to pretty to die! Take Mimi she's a striper."

"Maureen!" Mimi whined while hiding behind Roger.

"Sorry I'm just trying to safe my life." Maureen explained as she felt the gun press up against her. "Joanne save me!"

Benny slowly leaned into Mark. "You getting this on film?"

Mark only nodded as he tried to keep his focus on Maureen.

"It already is on film…it's a reality show." A random camera guy said, but everyone ignored him.

"Okay huddle!" Roger said pulling everyone into a group hug.

"What do we do?" Collins asked.

"Save Maureen." Joanne said in a frantic tone.

"I think we already established that when she got kidnapped." Mimi said.

"Any ideas?" Benny asked.

Everyone glanced towards one another until finally they broke the five-second silence.

"I got nothing." Roger declared.

"Me either." Collins said while straightening his back.

"I guess we play it by ear?" Benny asked.

They all nodded as they broke apart from their group huddle.

"Well?" The guy asked with a smirk.

"Well…um…let her go!" Roger shouted.

He then began laughing. "You are the worst cops ever."

"Ooo." Maureen said with an aroused smile. "Push that gun a little harder."

"Maureen sweetie…you're a hostage, how do you turn that sexual?" Angel asked.

Maureen shrugged. "It's a gift I guess."

"Well stop…or I'm not going to save you." Joanne warned.

"Pookie!" Maureen shouted. "Please."

"Ow…my ear." The guy complained.

"Good luck with the whole hostage thing." Roger said. "Because you definitely picked the worst one to hold."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Maureen asked appalled.

Roger shrugged.

"Wait I have an idea!" Collins said. "Give us Maureen back or else we will…umm." He looked from the hot tub full of money back to Maureen. "Pee on your money!"

Angel jumped up and down clapping. "Good one Collins!"

Collins grinned brightly. "Just thinking like a cop."

"You wouldn't" The guy said.

Collins began unzipping his pants. "Wouldn't I?"

The guy eyed him.

"Wouldn't I?" Collins asked again this time undoing his belt buckle.

"OK! Here take your stupid girl and give me my money." He said while pushing Maureen towards the group.

"Watch it I'm not some sort of cheap stripper you can just treat like your property." Maureen said while throwing her arms around Joanne.

"Hey." Mimi said in a hurt tone.

Maureen shrugged. "Sorry."

Before the bad guy could make a move Benny and Roger successfully and surprisingly handcuffed him.

"Did you get that on film?" Benny asked Mark before dragging the guy to the squad car.

"Yup!"

"Well that was fun." Collins said as he began leaving the house.

"No it wasn't I almost died!" Maureen cried out while hiding her face in Joanne's shoulder.

Angel grabbed Collins hand. "It was fun!"

"Do we get like a prize for getting this guy?" Mimi asked.

"I don't think so." Mark said.

"Well that sucks."

All of a sudden Roger ran up to the others.

"You guys another radio call involving all eight of us lets go!" Roger yelled before he ran back to the car.

Maureen sighed. "Again…we just served and protected."

"It's our job honeybear…and this time I'll protect you." Joanne assured her.

"Okay lets go!" Maureen said.

Soon after all eight of them were speeding down the highway to answer their next radio call.


	7. Chapter 7

**Remember this story? ;) **

**Sorry I haven't updated in like forever...I had...and still have writers block for this...and i'm not going to lie this update is not the best, but I just wanted to show you guys that i'm still thinking about this story ;)**

**Anyways I took some ideas from Reno 911, which I don't own...I just wanted to update... **

**I don't own Rent, and I don't own Reno 911**

**Well enjoy!**

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Chapter 7

**Collins and Roger**

Roger pulled up to The Life Café, putting the police car in park, him and Collins now exiting the vehicle.

"You think they'll do it?" Roger asked Collins.

Collins shrugged just as they entered the restaurant. "It's worth a shot."

Roger smirked as he pulled up his belt, and ran his hand through his hair. "If they don't…I'll shot em!"

Collins chuckled, while he pulled open the door. "Take it easy boy, we're cops now, they have to give it to us."

Roger nodded as he walked past Collins and into the restaurant. "What's up Dave?" he called out to the guy behind the bar.

"Collins…Roger…what brings you here?" The tall blonde guy asked.

"We're cops now." Collins said as he sat down on a stool.

Dave looked the two up and down, nodding his head none stop. "I can see that…"

Roger leaned against the bar. "Dave tell me something…do you like free things?"

Dave the bartender stood up straight, placing his hands together. "I love them…who doesn't?"

Collins eyed Roger with a smirk. "You know what taste good?"

"What?" Dave asked, a confused smile hitting his face.

"Free stuff…" Collins supplied.

Dave nodded. "Yeah…free stuff does taste pretty good…"

"You know what would else taste good?" Roger asked. "Beer."

Dave nodded again, his eyes glued to the floor. "Yeah beer is good too."

"Now put those two words together." Collins said.

"Beer free?" Dave asked.

"Switch them around." Roger said.

"Free beer?" Dave asked again.

"Exactly." Collins said.

"That would be pretty neat, but where would you find a place that would give free beer away?" Dave asked.

Roger sighed. "Listen dude, we want some free beer. We're cops now you should give back to us!"

"I want a free beer too…if I was a cop I would be doing the same thing as you guys." Dave said, as he started cleaning out a glass.

"Dave! You work here give us some free beer." Roger whined.

"Way to stay cool man." Collins said patting Roger on the back.

"Whatever." Roger said. "Lets go somewhere else."

Collins just eyed the bartender, and then followed an angry Roger out the door.

**Benny, Joanne, Mimi, and Mark**

"What do we have here?" Benny asked as he walked in a store with Mimi behind him.

"Robbery." Joanne answered, as she took in her surroundings, where everything was broken, and scattered everywhere.

"Aw that sucks." Mimi said as she skipped over everything, making sure she wouldn't step on anything.

"Where's Mark?" Benny asked.

"Right here." Mark said as he backed out from behind a counter with his camera in hand.

"Dude put the camera down." Benny said. "We're on duty."

"It's evidence." Mark argued.

Benny sighed, and then looked towards Joanne. "So where are the owners?"

"They fled out of the store when the robbery took place." Joanne explained.

"I got the whole thing on tape." Mark said holding up his camera.

Benny eyed Mark, and then Joanne. "Wait a second. You got the owners running out of the store on tape?"

Joanne and Mark both nodded.

Benny shook his head. "And the owners left the store, while the robbery was taking place?"

"Yes." Joanne said. "Jeeze you sound like a lawyer."

"Where were you two while this was being filmed?" Benny asked.

"Right outside the store." Mark said.

"And as cops…you did nothing to stop this?" Benny asked.

Joanne and Mark both eyed each other, and then shrugged.

"I guess we kind of forgot we were cops…" Joanne said.

"Joanne you out of all people?" Benny asked bewildered. "I thought you and I were the smart ones of the group?"

"Sorry…I guess Maureen is rubbing off on me." Joanne said.

"More like on you." Mimi snickered, causing a smile to spread across Joanne's lips, and Mark to shuddered.

"Well Mimi…its looks like you and I are the only smart ones around here." Benny said, as he looked behind him to try and see the dancer, but she wasn't there. "Mimi?"

"Hey you guys look!" Mimi said with surprise as she opened the cash register. "They left without the money…lets take it!"

Benny shook his head, smacking his forehead with this hand. "I'm surrounded by morons."

**Angel and Maureen**

Maureen walked into the police station, down the hall, and into an office. "Angel?" she called out, but she was nowhere to be found.

Maureen then turned around to see Mimi smiling back at her. "Hey Meems, have you seen Angel, we're supposed to go patrolling."

Mimi grinned wider as she walked closer to the diva. "Nope…but I found what I'm looking for."

"Oh yeah, and what's that?" Maureen asked a curious smile playing on her lips.

"You." Mimi said pushing Maureen up against the desk, now handing cuffing her to a handle.

"Me?" Maureen asked a bit shocked.

Mimi nodded, while leaning in close. "You…"

Maureen smirked. "Well you know I'm with Joanne…and you're with Roger."

"No, no." Mimi said as she placed her finger over Maureen's lips. "I didn't ask you to speak."

Maureen just nodded as she tugged on her handcuffed hands, her eyes now wide with desire as Mimi leaned in closer.

"MAUREEN!" Angel shouted, causing the drama queen to jolt awake.

"What?" Maureen asked irritated, and now frowning when she noticed she was just dreaming about Mimi. "Great! Thank you Angel." Maureen began bitterly. "Thanks for ruining my hott dream about Mimi."

"You were sleeping?" Angel asked stunned.

Maureen nodded. "Yes I was, and it was just getting good too."

"Sweetie!" Angel shouted. "You're driving!"

"What?" Maureen asked, now noticing she was sitting behind a steering wheel. "Oh shit!"

After a few minutes, Maureen managed to get control of the car, and the two began to laugh.

"That was close…" Maureen said, as she kept her eyes on the road.

Angel giggled. "Very…"

"Oh sugar…" Angel began. "Close your eyes you have something on your eye lid.

Maureen nodded while she closed her eyes, totally forgetting that she was driving again, and apparently Angel did too, because she pulled Maureen's face towards her, and tried to pick a white fuzz off of Maureen's closed eyes, all while they were driving.

Suddenly there was honking, and that jolted Maureen away from Angel. "Oh shit again!"

"Angel why did you do that to me?" Maureen whined once she got control over the car again.

Angel shrugged while she leaned back in her seat. "We're cops…we can do anything…"

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**I'll try and update faster...but don't be surprised if I don't...I a****pologize in advance...**


	8. Chapter 8

**SO sorry for the update delay...I couldn't think of anything...anyways so here is another update...I took a couple idea's from Reno 911!, which I don't own. Oh and sorry for any weird mistakes...its 3am...and i'm really tired...**

**I also don't own Rent. **

**ENJOY! **

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Rent 911

**Roger and Collins**

"I'm thirsty." Collins complained as him and Roger roamed the streets.

"Want to go grab a slushy?" Roger asked. "I'm sure we can get it for free."

Collins eyed the rocker with uncertainty. "Why do you say that?"

Roger tapped his gun. "We're cops."

Collins face softened, his eyes now taking in the uniform. "Oh shit man, I totally forgot we were still doing this…"

"Well come on lets go get some free stuff!" Roger smiled, and the two headed in the direction of a store.

A half hour later, the two exited the store with free stuff in their hands, Roger's eyes now falling on a random girl.

"Hey, Collins…don't we know that girl?" Roger asked while pointing.

Collins took in the stranger, his face brightening up. "I think we do."

Just as they were pondering who the girl was, she walked up to them so she could go inside the store.

"Excuse me miss." Collins called out causing the girl to turn around.

"Yes." She answered.

"You look familiar." Roger pointed out.

The girl smirked. "Is that like a pick up line?"

"No, you really do look familiar, have I seen you before?" Roger asked.

The girl shrugged. "I don't know where you hang out."

"The Life Café." Collins answered.

The girl shook her head. "No…nope never been before."

"Cat Scratch club?" Roger asked.

"Nope." The girl said her head then popped up with a smile. "Do you know Johnny?"

Roger eyed Collins. "Is he gay? Or a cross dresser?"

Collins returned Roger's look with a dirty one. "You think all gay's and cross dressers have a club or something?" The professor then smiled towards the girl. "Nope, don't know Johnny."

"I don't know…maybe I just have one of those faces." The girl smiled.

"Yeah that's probably it." Roger said. "Well sorry to keep you, have a good, and safe day."

"Thanks, bye!" The girl chirped and then rushed into the store.

"She was nice." Collins smiled as they began walking.

However just as they were about to jump back into their car, they heard the girl shouting in the store.

"EVERYONE PUT THEIR HANDS UP!" The girl shouted.

Collins and Roger worriedly eyed each other.

"Wanted poster!" They both shouted, and then ran into the store to capture the criminal.

**Joanne and Mark**

"Joanne pull over, I think I see a crazy guy on drugs." Mark pointed out.

Joanne looked out the window, her eyes landing on a guy who was running around in circles, with his mouth open.

"Wow…weird people in New York." Joanne mumbled, while she pulled the car over.

"Excuse me sir." Joanne called out as they approached the guy. The guy quickly stopped what he was doing and stared straight ahead.

"Hello officers…how are you today?" The guy asked.

"We're good, how are you feeling today?" Joanne asked.

The guy shrugged. "I could be better…"

"Are you under the influence sir?" Mark asked.

The guy eyed Mark, his face beaming with delight. "No…but I'd like to be under the influence of you…"

Mark cringed while Joanne stifled a laugh.

"You're not on any drugs?" Mark asked.

"I'm sure not." He answered while slapping Mark's ass.

"Hey!" Mark squealed while he jumped and hid behind Joanne. "There will be no touching of the officers…I have a sensitive bum…"

"It's my way of saying hello." He said.

Joanne pushed him away from Mark. "Well think of another way!"

The guy stepped back raising his hands in defense. "Hey, hey, hey no touching me…like I said it was my way of saying hello."

"Sir…please tell me the truth are you on drugs?" Joanne asked.

"No…" He nervously replied. "But I can tell you what I am on..."

"What is that?" Mark asked, while still keeping a safe distance.

"Skittles…" He replied. "I'm on Skittles…you should try them."

"By skittles do you mean, crack?" Joanne asked.

"No…but I do have a butt crack…" He giggled.

"Not funny sir!" Joanne yelled.

"Hey…be nice…or I wont give you any of my skittles." He then eyed Mark and smiled. "I will give you some though."

Mark weakly smiled while he grabbed Joanne and pulled her in front of him.

"You can't hide from me little man…I'll find you." He said.

Joanne then moved out of the way exposing Mark; the guy then lunged at the poor filmmaker and pulled him into a hug.

Joanne rolled her eyes. "Maureen must have been on skittles when she dated Mark…"

"Joanne help me…" Mark cried while he tried to run away.

**Mimi and Benny**

"Drunk driver pull him over." Mimi demanded while she filed her fingernails.

"How did you…" Benny asked amazed, his eyes moving from Mimi who was paying no attention to anything, and then to the car in front of them who was swerving in and out of the lanes. Benny just shrugged and turned his sirens on, successfully pulling the guy over.

"Step out of the car sir." Benny said once he was at the window.

"What…why…." The guy slurred his words. "I didn't do anything wrong."

"Just please step out of the vehicle." Benny ordered.

The guy stepped out, his body swaying back and forth.

"Have you been drinking tonight?" Benny asked.

"Nothing…" They guy said with a hiccup.

"It doesn't smell like nothing." Benny said.

"I swear!" He said. "Trust me…do I look like I would drink and drive?"

"By the way you're swaying and slurring your words, I would say yes." Benny replied.

"Oh come on…you're only basing it on two facts."

"I know how we can tell." Mimi chimed in while skipping to the car.

Benny and the guy looked towards Mimi with questioning looks.

"How?" Benny asked.

Mimi smirked. "Bring him to the back of the car."

Benny sighed, but did as he was told. "Okay so now what?"

"Okay tough guy repeat everything I do." Mimi said.

"Okay…"

Mimi smiled and then started dancing, while speaking in a rhythm. "Heel to toe, heel to toe."

"Easy…" The guy said, he then mocked Mimi's moves, while speaking the same way. "Heel to toe, heel to toe."

Mimi clapped. "Wow very good. Let's try another."

Mimi stood in position again, and then began. "Heel to toe, heel to toe, touch your nose and shake your ass."

"Easy!" The guy said, and then did the same thing.

Mimi watched on in delight, her eyes then caught Benny who was doing the same moves.

"Tada!" The guy said. "Okay…can we stop now, I'm really wasted."

Mimi laughed. "Ahhh, I caught you."

"Oh man…shit no I mean…I oh fine take me to the drunk tank." The guy said.

"Twinkle toes cuff him." Mimi grinned towards Benny who was caught off guard in a dance move.

"Yeah sure…" Benny blushed, and then dragged the guy to the cop car.

**Maureen and Angel**

"Prostitute." Maureen said while she excitedly pointed out her window. "Let's get her!"

Angel nodded while pulling over.

"How much?" Maureen asked with a smile on her face as they approached.

"Maureen." Angel warned.

"What I'm just having fun." Maureen giggled.

"I was just leaving…" The prostitute said.

"Uh no honey, we caught you, you were trying to sell your body." Angel said before she could get away.

The girl stopped and posed in front of Angel. "Well hello…look how damn hot I am, I make tons of money off of this body."

"I'm sorry sugar that's illegal." Angel pointed out.

Maureen nodded. "Yeah I'm sorry; this is a fake job, like your fake boobs."

"Excuse me." The girl said. "These are real."

Angel burst out into a giggle, while she checked out the girls huge barest. "I'm sorry sweetie…but one can't be that naturally big."

"Oh yes they can…how do you think I make so much money…men like big boobs, and men like them even more when they're real." She replied.

"Don't lie to us, we're the police." Maureen said.

"I'm not lying." She replied.

Maureen's face fell. "Well I guess there is only one way to find out for sure…"

"How…" Angel asked.

Maureen eyed the prostitute. "I'm going to have to feel them for myself."

The prostitute shrugged and stuck out her chest. "Be my guest."

Maureen grinned and stuck out her hand, her hand now grabbing firmly. "Wow…these do feel real." She then stuck out her other hand, her hands now touching both. "Angel you have to feel these."

Angel sighed. "Not my cup of tea Mo."

Maureen shrugged. "Whatever…you don't know what you're missing though."

"So what do you think?" The girl asked.

Maureen nodded. "I think their real…just let me squeeze a little more…" Maureen trailed while her hands massaged around. "Yeah…these are nice…I've never touched real one's this big before."

"Oh Maureen if Joanne were here, she would kick your ass." Angel smirked.

Maureen continued to play around while giving a faint shrugged. "I'm just doing my job."

"You know what…" Maureen said while she stepped back. "I'm not so sure anymore…"

"What…but you just said?" The prostitute whined.

"I know…but I'm feeling them over fabric…maybe if you took your shirt off…" Maureen suggested.

"Maureen no." Angel said, she then reached out and grabbed the prostitute's wrist and handcuffed her hands behind her back.

"Hey wait what? What you doing." The girl asked.

"Brining you back to the station." Angel said.

"That's not fair…I'm all natural!" The girl yelled.

"Sorry sugar." Angel said while she shoved her into the back seat of the car.

"I'm all natural!" She shouted again.

Angel then slammed the door shut and then looked up towards Maureen. "Yuck…she was all gross."

Maureen shrugged. "I thought she felt quite nice…"


	9. Chapter 9

Rent 911

**Benny and Mark**

"So what do you think the disturbance is?" Mark asked as him and Benny walked up the hotel stairs.

"I don't know." Benny answered.

Mark nervously played with his fingers. "Do you think it will be dangerous?"

I don't know.

"Do you think we will need to draw our guns?"

Benny stopped, his head slowly turned towards Mark with an annoyed expression. "I don't know Mark…I know as much as you know, so stop asking me stupid questions!"

"Oooookay…." Mark said with his hands raised in defense. "Sorry for being all curious and stuff…"

Benny just shot him a look, his head then turned back around and they began walking up the stairs again.

When they reached the floor, they both slowly began walking towards the room they were told about. Quickly they heard screams coming from down the hall.

"This way!" Benny whispered, and then ran off with out Mark.

Mark swallowed hard; he didn't want to play cops anymore. The sound coming from that room, sounded like someone was being murdered.

"Mark come on!" Benny demanded.

Mark slowly caught up with Benny, the loud screams only getting louder by the second. "Holy shit I'm going to die…"

Benny rolled his eyes. "You're not going to die…now on the count of three I'm going to break the door open, and we're both going to run in with our guns out."

Mark slowly nodded. "Okay."

Benny put his hand over his gun, and then began to count. "One…two…three!"

After the countdown was done, Benny kicked the door open and ran inside with his gun drawn. Mark surprisingly followed behind, but instead of drawing his gun, he pulled out his flashlight.

"Freeze!" Benny said, his gun now pointing towards the bed where two people lied under the blankets, his eyes then landed on Mark. "Mark your gun, not your flashlight! Damnit, why do I always get paired up with you!"

Mark tried his hardest not to smile as he lowered his flashlight, his eyes now glued on the couple lying in bed before him. "I think me being your partner is going to be the least of your worries once you take a look at this…"

"What…" Benny said his focus now shifting to the cause of the screams. "Alison!"

Alison blushed while she clutched the sheets closer to her chest. "Hi Benny…"

"And the Mayor." Mark amusingly added.

The Mayor shyly waved.

"You're the one who has been disturbing the peace?" Benny asked

Alison shrugged. "I'm a loud screaming you know that…"

Benny shook his. "I can't believe this!"

**Roger and Mimi**

"Look what we have here…" Roger smirked as his eyes caught two teenagers suspiciously running into an alley. "Let's go scare them."

Mimi's eyes lit up. "Okay."

The teenagers huddled in the alley, the both of them acting like big shots as they prepared their newly purchased smack.

"What do we have here?" Roger asked with a sly grin.

The two kids looked up to see Mimi and Roger standing there with clubs in their hands.

"Nothing…" The one kid quickly replied.

Mimi squinted her eyes as she took in the stuff in their hands. "Doesn't look like nothing…"

"Is that…" Roger trailed.

"It is…" Mimi answered. "Drug possession."

"But we…" The one kid tried.

"Nope sorry, we caught you…" Roger said him and Mimi now walking closer.

Mimi nodded. "Next time why don't you try to hide it a little better…like in your shoe, or up your sleeve."

"Or if you're going to do it in an alley, at least know how to prepare it properly." Roger added his face then scrunched up. "I mean look at that mess…you're doing it all wrong."

Mimi snorted. "What amateurs. You're not going to get high if you do it like that..."

"Yeah don't just do it because you think you're cool." Roger began him and Mimi now sitting with them. "Do it to feel good."

"You know what else feels good?" Mimi stated. "When you drink alcohol while you're getting high."

"Oh yeah, it's such a rush!" Roger said. "You boys drink?"

"No sir…we're only seventeen." One teenager replied.

Mimi laughed. "Only 'seventeen.' I've been drinking since I was fourteen."

"Just grab a fake ID and buy some beer. You look old enough." Roger said.

"Well anyway guys, it was nice talking to you." Mimi said while standing up, Roger now standing with her. "But we have to get going; we have to protect the streets."

Roger nodded. "Yeah so have fun there…and stay in school." He added with a wink.

"Yeah dropping out was the worst mistake I ever made." Mimi added, and then her and Roger walked away, the both of them totally forgetting why they cornered the boys in the first place.

**Collins and Angel **

Angel talked on the radio, answering a police call while Collins drove. Finally Angel put the radio down, confirming the call.

"Alright honey, there is an abandon police car parked behind an alley on Avenue B. They want us to go check it out."

Collins nodded. "A police car?"

"Yeah I guess it's been parked there for while now…almost three hours. Witness says there had been some movement, but nobody ever excited the vehicle."

"Okay. This situation calls for the sirens!" Collins said, his hand reached up and turned on the sirens.

The two quickly arrived on the site, both of them now approaching the car slowly.

Collins stood up on his tip toes, trying to peer in.

"See anything?"

Collins shook his head. "No…I think we have to move in closer…"

"Okay." Angel said

As they began moving, they heard moans, causing them to stop.

"What the hell…" Collins said.

"I'm scared." Angel said while wrapping his arms around Collins arm.

"It's okay Ang…we have guns…"

"It's a cop car…they probably have them too…." Angel whispered, but Collins didn't listen and he kept walking towards the car.

Finally he reached the car; he's eyes peering into the backseat. "Oh my god!"

"What?" Angel asked with fear.

"Relax Angel…it's just MoJo." Collins said while he tapped on the window.

Joanne and Maureen both looked up, the two of them now caught with out any clothes on.

"Hi!" Maureen chirped with a huge grin.

Joanne's face quickly fell her hand then reached down, and she pulled a random blanket around their bodies.

Angel then looked inside, her eyebrows knitting together in confusion. "Wow I never thought I would see Joanne in this position. Joanne sweetie…you're on top…I thought Maureen was the topper?"

Joanne blushed, her eyes then shifted up Maureen's arm where it was handcuffed to the door handle. "Maureen made me get a little kinky."

"Oh…" Collins and Angel both nodded.

"Well hurry up and finish, people are calling in about the random cop car parked behind the alley." Collins stated.

"Buh bye." Angel chirped while her and Collins walked away.

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**So i'm thinking that the next chapter is going ot be my last...**


	10. Chapter 10

**I apologize in advance, this was not my best chapter...or ending of a story for that matter...**

**I hope you still enjoy! **

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Chapter 10

**All of them**

"What do we have here?" Collins asked with a giant grin, his nose taking in his favorite smell in the world.

"Pot." Maureen smirked.

"Fresh pot." Roger added.

All eight of them climbed into the trailer, their eyes taking in the growing plants that surrounded it.

"There everywhere…" Joanne said with astonishment.

"The more for us to smoke…I mean take in for evidence." Collins said.

"First we have to take those guys in." Mimi pointed out, her fingers waving at the two criminals that were growing the stuff.

"Benny." Angel said. "You proven to be the best cop out of all of us…so go and well you know…cop."

Benny sighed. "Fine…"

Benny had success cuffing the first guy, but when it came time for the second one it didn't go exactly like he had planed.

"Don't come any closer!" Guy number two yelled.

"Oh shit he has a gun!" Mark squealed and then hid behind Benny.

"Everyone scatter!" Collins shouted while grabbing Angel by the arm and pulling her under a table with him.

"Joanne!" Maureen cried while jumping into the lawyers arms. "Save me!"

Roger and Mimi didn't say anything as they both wrapped their arms around each other and held on for dear life.

Once again Benny sighed. "You idiots! We all have guns!"

"Oh yeah…" Roger said while he pulled his out. "I've been waiting to use this for the longest time!"

"He probably doesn't even know how." Guy number one said from his handcuffed position in a chair.

Guy number two laughed while he pointed his weapon. "I'm going to shoot each and everyone of – OW!"

Everyone froze when there was a gunshot, the bullet piercing through his shoulder causing him to drop his own gun.

"Maureen!" Roger shouted. "I was supposed to shoot him!"

Maureen shrugged. "Well what the fuck did you want me to do? Stand here and wait for him to kill me!"

"I was going to save you!" Roger yelled.

"Well it took you long enough!" Maureen shot back.

"Now I'm never going to get to shoot someone." Roger whined. "Mimi yell at her!"

Mimi rolled her eyes. "How could you Maureen…how could you shoot that guy and save our lives!" She yelled sarcastically.

Roger huffed, Mimi rolled her eyes again.

"Shoot that guy…" Collins suggested once he crawled out from under the table, his finger pointing towards guy number one.

"Baby…he didn't do anything." Angel said.

Collins shrugged. "Nobody has to know that."

A wicked smile grew on Roger's face. "Can I?"

"No…" Mark said his arms still wrapped around Benny for protection.

"Man get off me!" Benny yelled while he cuffed guy number two.

"I'm scared…" Mark whispered.

"Well I have to shoot something; if not then I'm going to shoot Maureen." Roger said.

"Pookie!" Maureen screamed while hiding her face on the lawyer's chest.

"Well it wouldn't be wrong if he were to…I don't know try and hurt us…" Joanne said. "And you were defending yourself."

Roger nodded, his eyes now landing on everyone. "Okay…so everyone knows the story? He got free and pulled a gun on us."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"What! but I did nothing!" Guy number one shouted.

"Too bad." Roger said while his finger pulled the trigger, the bullet now entering guy number one's shoulder.

"That was rude." Angel said while hiding her eyes on Collins shoulder.

Roger shrugged. "You killed a dog."

"But I didn't make you watch it." Angel mumbled.

"So is everyone happy now?" Collins asked.

Everyone nodded.

"Okay then…lets smoke some weed." He grinned.

Benny quickly locked the two in the back of the police car, and then rejoined the group for some fun.

"Wow…they did a good job a growing this stuff." Roger said. "Wouldn't you agree Collins?"

"Collins?"

"COLLINS!" Roger shouted, pulling the professor away from making out with Angel.

"Can't you see I'm busy?" Collins said while motioning to Angel who was sitting on his lap waiting for some more action.

"Sorry man…" Roger said he then pulled Mimi on to his own lap and wrapped his arms around her.

"This is the life…" Joanne brightly smiled while she exhaled some smoke and then leaned her head on the back of the couch.

"Joanne…I didn't know you did this stuff?" Mimi asked with surprise.

"Every once in a while…but that's not even the fun part about it." Joanne said. "The fun part is when Maureen is high."

Mark nodded in agreement. "I remember those times quite fondly."

"What do you mean…?" Benny asked but then stopped when his eyes landed on Maureen, who was nuzzling, kissing, and licking Joanne's neck, her hand also up the lawyer's shirt. "Why do I even ask?"

Pretty soon the entire trailer was filled with smoke, all couples now in a heated make out session.

Mark let out a lonely sigh, his eyes now falling on Benny. "You wanna…"

"No!" Benny said while pushing the filmmaker away. "Just get away I had enough of you…"

"Take it easy…" Mark said in a dazed out tone.

About two hours later there was banging on the door, causing everyone to jump alert.

"Oh shit…" Collins coughed.

Before anyone could stand up the door flew open, the Chief of police now entering. Everyone quickly straightened up, making it look like they were doing nothing wrong.

Slowly he made his way inside, his eyes staring at each and everyone of them. "You're all fired!"

With out an explanation or any further thoughts he left the trailer. Everyone sat in silence their eyes all casting on each other, until finally they all burst into a laugh, even Benny.

"Well…we lasted longer then I thought we would." Collins said through laughter.

"Shall we continue?" Roger asked while pulling the door closed.

"Lets!" Maureen agreed her lips now reattached to Joanne's neck.

As the bohemians all stayed in the dungy trailer and smoked up, the rest of New York City managed to get a better sleep.

The End.

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**I could have ended it a lot better...but I was tired. Anyways thanks a lot for reading and reviewing!**


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